Part 1 of this series sought to answer what authenticity is.
Today’s blog will answer the question, “Why do we struggle to be authentic?”
Oftentimes, inauthenticity appears when (1) we want to fit in, belong, and be accepted, and (2) to do so, we sense or believe that we must be something other than what we are. Sometimes, this inauthenticity can be purposeful and malicious, designed to “get in” with a group in order to dupe them for selfish gain. Ordinarily, though, inauthenticity happens accidentally or even subconsciously as we respond to the pressures and cues we pick up from our environments.
For example, I’m not naturally very trendy or aware of what is “in”; my wiring as an ENTJ lends me to be more curious about the abstract and peculiar. Growing up, in order to fit in with the popular group at school, what would have happened if I’d forced myself to adapt? To become “cool” and aware of who and what got into the headlines? Changing myself to do so would have led me down a path of inauthenticity.
Does that mean I could never have been friends with the popular kids? Not at all! Even in groups that may be naturally different from you, there are ways to grow authenticity without losing connection. We’ll take a look at 6 steps to do so in Part 3 and Part 4 of this series.
Until then, spend some time thinking about the contexts in which you feel an urge to be inauthentic. Where do you sense you feel pressure to be something different than what you naturally are. ?