Replacing Balance with Harmony

I just read this article. It shows how top CEOs are replacing the phrase work-life balance with work-life harmony. The idea is not to think about compartmentalizing the work you do and the way you relax. You don’t have to trade one for the other. Instead, think about how to fill your life with meaning, and you will find both your professional and personal life becoming highly energizing. Moreover, you will find that they feed each other and make your life more satisfying.

So how do you go about doing that? Here are a few steps to help you get started:

Make a List of What’s Meaningful to You

So what’s meaningful to you? Really think about that. We have a finite amount of time here on Earth, and we had better make the most of it.

Make a list of the things that bring meaning to your life. What do you love to do? What brings you joy?

It may help you to think about times in your life when you were doing things you absolutely loved. When were you cracking up like crazy? When were you your most creative? When were you the most you, you could be? What was the most fun time you’ve ever had? When have you felt passion? How about joy? How about love? At the core, what was it about those experiences that brought you meaning? These are the things you want to invest in.

Harmonize Passions To Avoid Burn Out

We also have to be careful. Those of us who have found our passions can get burned out by them. We need to harmonize our passions so that not one of them leads us to burnout. We can do that by allowing ourselves to be fully present in whatever it is we are doing at the moment so we can give it all we have. So when you are at work, be all in. When you’re at home, be all in. When sleeping, exercising, or resting, be all in. We function best when we give ourselves to what we are doing for the sake of the activity itself, not for some self-glorifying end. But don’t burn out on any one of them.

Do What You Were Made To Do

So now think. Do you know what you were built to do? Just knowing that will bring incredible meaning to your life. Our coaches can help you discover that in less than 6 hours. It is by far our most popular coaching program. There are plenty of other resources and books that can help you discover that as well. Be sure to get clear on what that is.

Focus on the Most Essential Part of What You Were Made To Do

Once you discover what you were built to do, read the book Essentialism, by Greg McKeown. It will show you how to focus on the most important part of your work and go all in there. You will feel like you are in your strike zone throughout the day.

Be Fully Present With Those You Care About

Outside of work, meaning can come by being fully present with those you care for.

My twin boys turn 15 in less than a month. FIFTEEN! My wife and I are talking about what car to get them. How did we get here so quickly? Wasn’t it just yesterday that I was holding them like this?

As much as I loved the time when they were small, I am now loving to see them become men. The conversations, the joking around, the stretching them to help them discover who they are has been incredible. I’ve only got four more years with them here at home. I want to make the most of it. How about you? How can you bring meaning to the relationships you have?

To Have Sustained Meaningful Experiences, Embrace Self-Care

In order for me to give myself to the things that are meaningful, I need to take care of myself.

Sleep has been shown to be the top productivity tool. A few years ago when I struggled with sleep, I wrote this article. Prioritizing sleep has been life-changing. I am also working on my diet and exercise. I have yo-yo’d in my weight a lot over the last 20 years, but I am learning to pursue self-care with meaning. A question I’ve been reflecting on is, “How does taking care of myself bring meaning to me and to others?” I am discovering a consistency that I have not had before. Try it, and let me know how it goes.

Be Grateful. Don’t Take Anything for Granted.

Another self-care tool that has been incredibly valuable is expressing gratitude. When we are grateful, it lifts us out of the low energy spaces and reminds us that although we are not entitled to anything, we have - and are given - incredible gifts. The very means by which you are reading this blog is just one of many things you have to be grateful for. Don’t take any of it for granted. (For more on gratitude: see here or here.)

Remember: Wasting Time Sucks Your Energy

How do you waste time? How can you replace that time with something meaningful? Sometimes my brain needs to veg out. Replacing wasted time with brain games has not only been fun, but has given my wife, twin boys, daughter, and me something we can all get into. When I used to waste time, my energy level would drop. When I play brain games, my brain gets sharper, and when my family gets into it with me, it provides even more fun and closeness.

Join Me In A Different Kind of New Year’s Resolution

We are about to start a new year. Many of us will be thinking about what we want to go in for. A common resolution is to develop a work-life balance. Maybe this time around we can build a work-life harmony. Would you join me in this resolution? To fill this next year with as much meaning as you can get?

Chew On This:

• How will you fill your life with as much meaning as you can get?

Five Small Steps to Get Your Passion Back

Life has become a matter of existing.  It has become a matter of fulfilling obligations.  Joy is fleeting.  Passion is waning.

Here are 5 small steps to get your passion back:

• Start a Gratitude Chronicle

One of the reasons why our drive diminishes is that we are so focused on the bad that we don’t take the time to see all the good that is happening around us.  We need a tool to remind ourselves to be grateful.

On a Google Doc or some other web-based word processing document, take a little bit of time every day to describe, in detail, one time when you were really grateful for something.  Perhaps you were incredibly grateful when a dark time ended, when you received a gift that really hit home, or when a deal landed “from out of nowhere."  Whatever the reason, write one story every day of a time when you felt grateful.

In order for this to work, you need to describe not only the facts of the story, but what you felt about those facts.

When you run out of stories, just start making lists of what you are grateful for.  Don’t take anything for granted (i.e. Did you sleep on a bed? Have you eaten?  Do you have decent clothes?). As you remember that you are not entitled to any of the things you have been given, your heart will start to melt.

Now, whenever you are starting to go negative, turn to your smartphone, bring up the document, and read some of the accounts of times when you were grateful.  Afterwards, take the occasion to add to your list the things you can be grateful for at that moment.

• Simplify the business

Many business leaders have spent so much time putting out fires that they have “forgotten” why they got in the business in the first place.

What was your vision for your role when you first started?  Has your vision evolved?  Take small steps towards nailing your vision and you will see drive come back.

After nailing the vision, look at how you spent your time over the last week or two.  How much of that time was spent on the core part of that vision?

Have you been trading what is essential for what is urgent, but not essential?

It is time to get back to basics.  If you knew there would be no negative consequences to your spending the vast majority of time doing what you do best to drive the greatest results, how would you spend that time?

Now develop a transition plan to get there.  You will need to delegate, delete, diminish or delay certain tasks.  Get on it as fast as possible.

Know that something is going to have to drop.  Don’t let it be what is essential in favor of what is urgent.  Choosing the urgent is probably what zaps your energy the most.

Proceed with the transition in small steps.  See if you can free up just five minutes from the urgent to give back to the essential.  Once you start, it will be addicting.  You will become proactive, and most of your day will be spent building the business instead of putting out fires.

• Really connect to others.

Here is a novel concept....  When was the last time you really connected at a heart level to someone else?  That is, you just let yourself be, and they let themselves be--no marketing.... no positioning.... no façades.... no hiding....  You just let yourself be.

For most of us, we have given up on having those types of relationships.  We are too busy.  We have too much anxiety.  We are scared of being judged.

If you are married, I bet deep down, your spouse longs for this with you.

If you are not married, who can you go deep with?

Once again, start small.  Don’t verbally vomit everything that you’ve been hiding.  Start with being real for a little bit with someone you want to get closer to.  See how they respond.  Once you get going you will find it refreshing.

• Make time for once-loved hobbies.

What did you used to love to do that you have not done in awhile?  For me, it is tennis.  I used to play all weekend in my teens and 20’s.

What is a small step you can take to get that back in your life?  I have not touched a racquet in 10 years.  I can start by spending 5-10 mins per week hitting against a wall and building on that until I get my game back.  What’s your version?

Taking small steps is the key to getting your drive back.  Just five minutes will generate momentum to help you come back to life.

Chew On This:

• Which of the five steps will you start with today?

Ryan C. Bailey is an Executive Coach who helps business leaders develop in-demand high performing teams.